Featured Personal Diary

Im-per-fect Dating

Hello my lovely readers,

Since I’ve decided to start blogging more and more and started sharing insights into my life with everyone, I thought it would be a good idea to touch on the oh so poignant subject of dating.

It all happened after Match.com approached me and asked me to share my thoughts and experiences as a part of their new campaign “Love your Imperfections”. The question is how do I deal with my own insecurities on a first date?  God knows I have been on many as a single woman living in London so I thought that this was a great chance to share something really personal on my blog.

We all know that we Londoners are somewhat restricted to online dating more and more these days. With multiple dating apps out there and ultimately Match.com it has become so easy to meet people and get yourself out there. Conveniently you can book yourself out for multiple dates on the comfort of your sofa whilst watching mindless reality TV in your most unflattering clothes. I can say I am guilty of all of the above and when it comes to dating, it has become the norm to agree to a date with the touch of a finger.

If you do decide that you like his pictures and he messages you well – this is a good start and you are one step closer to meeting a person that sounds and quite frankly, is somewhat hot. I do however hate those matches that go on and on with their empty chats and would rather waste your time messaging you without even asking you for a drink. However when you do come across a handsome match who asks you out after a few seemingly flirtatious messages, then you know you have something (or someone) to work with.

Now we all know that the Sex and the City culture is instilled in our minds and that dates are like interviews with cocktails. It can be a rather daunting thought to go and meet a handsome stranger for the first time. There is so much that goes through your head – will he like my personality, will he like my laugh, how flattering is my outfit, do I have enough make up on, does he think I look like my pictures, and we all know it goes on and on.

A while back I was on a date with this cute guy who seemed so so perfect until he started talking about his past experience with this other girl. He said he thought they were getting on so well until she pointed out that she had a slight lazy eye as a joke – he then said he hadn’t even noticed it until she pointed it out and he’s found her unattractive ever since.  I knew right then and there that this is not a man I want to see again. We all have insecurities and are somehow imperfect in our own cute little way. But should we embrace those imperfections and face them head on in the game? Well I must say (and having had discussed this with my girlfriends) the conclusion is that we all wonder if we should risk the horrors of a first date and show these perfect strangers our true colours or should we pretend that we are somewhat perfect until we become tired of pretending?

I for example always think that my accent may put my date off since English is my second language and despite the fact that I speak and write it fluently, there is always that little voice in my head that goes ‘Did I pronounce that properly and what did he think of it?’ My friend on the other hand has a loud nervous laugh which usually happens when she feels nervous on her date but does she endlessly wonder if he likes it or not, well maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Who cares?? We all know that ever since Bridget Jones wrote her Diary that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus; we are so different its unreal. Approaching my 30’s and the high double figure of dates that I’ve attended in the past, I’ve learnt that if a man shows that he isn’t full on into me and doesn’t embrace my flaws then its time to wave bye bye and swap this man in for another.

Well with Match.com amongst others; it’s providing us a much easier way to find our soul mates, I say why settle for less and why want to change someone? We are all far from perfect (apart from those skinny Instagram girls that always seem to be near some random dark blue ocean sipping their slimming tea whilst seemingly doing nothing) and we should not shy away from the fact that our imperfections may be seen as perfection in someone else’s eyes. I find that with my accent guys usually like it (well at least I always get compliments on my English), or that time I wondered how big my thighs were in my skinny jeans he complimented me on my figure.

I’m not saying all this because I had a bad experience but I heard it one too many times in my girlfriend group and I thought it would be nice to share how I feel with you guys.

The dating game can be exhausting. It’s way more fun to be tired of meeting the wrong man for you than settling down with a guy who just isn’t right for you. So I say to you – embrace the fact that you may have small boobs or a big butt and keep on dating until you meet a man who loves you just the way you are.

I hope I inspired some of you and would love to hear your comments or past dating experiences.

Lots of love.

Tania xxx

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